I Naijahusband, take you Naijawife…to be my lawfully wedded wife, to have and to hold, from this day forward, for better, for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health, in sleepiness and in wake, until death do us part.
*At 1 a.m. in the morning*
Naijawife: “Babe…”
Naijahusband: “Hmmm?”
Naijawife: “Darling”
Naijahusband: “Hmmm?”
Naijawife: “I can’t sleep”
Naijahusband: “Hmmm?”
Naijawife: “Can you hold me?”
Naijahusband: “Hmmm?”
Naijawife: “….never mind.”
Naijahusband: “Zzzzzzzzz”
*The following week, at around midnight*
Naijawife: “Wake up!!!”
Naijahusband: “Hmmm?”
Naijawife: “The neighbour’s house is on fire!”
Naijahusband: “Hmmm?”
Naijawife: “Get up! Get up!”
Naijahusband: “Hmmm?”
Naijawife: “We have to help!”
Naijahusband: “Hmmm?”
Naijawife: “Sigh….never mind. I’ll go myself.”
Naijahusband: “Zzzzzzzzz”
*Two weeks later, at around 4 a.m.*
Naijawife: “Babe…”
Naijahusband: “Hmmm?”
Naijawife: “Your mom just called”
Naijahusband: *springs up out of bed* “What?! What happened? What happened?”
Naijawife: *eyes him warily*
Naijahusband: “Is she ok? What’s wrong?!”
Naijawife: “She said there’s a rat in her bedroom.”
Naijahusband: “WHAT?! Hand me my phone right now!”
Naijawife: *hands him phone* *eyes him again* *sucks her teeth* “….mscheeeewwww”
Naijahusband: *as he jumps up to wear trousers and rush to his mother’s house. “What’s wrong? What happened? Why do you have that look on your face?”
Naijawife: “Nothing o. Greet her for me. Bye.”
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