Things NaijaWife Says – Episode 2 – “If You Like”

One of the many joys of marriage is that you begin to see funny patterns in the various conversations you have with your spouse. Welcome to Episode 2 of the Things NaijaWife Says Series! Inspired by the Things Black Girls Say meme.

Episode 2: If You Like

NaijaWife: *Taking a long shower as usual – peeks out of bath and shouts* – “Naijahusband wait for me! Let’s leave the house together!”v

NaijaHusband: *Frantically getting dressed* “…Sweetie I can’t. I have a client situation at work that I need to rush to handle.”

NaijaWife: “If you like eh, don’t wait for me. You’ll just find yourself with a domestic situation when you get back.”

NaijaHusband: *Calmly sits down to wait for her*

Later that day.

NaijaWife: *Calls him at work* “Are we still having date night today?”

NaijaHusband: *Looks around at his frantic colleagues* “I’m not sure sweetie….things are pretty rough here in the office.”

Pause…

NaijaWife: *Sigh* “Well if you like, stay late at work. The later you stay, the less likely I’ll…”

No date night = Potential headache in the making
Well I warned you didn’t I?

NaijaHusband: Calmly opens email to find saved list of her favorite restaurants

The next day

NaijaWife: *Calling Naija Husband on the phone*

Phone keeps ringing with no answer

NaijaWife: *impatiently mutters to herself* “…If he likes eh, he shouldn’t pick up this phone.”

NaijaHusband: *suddenly picks up phone* “Hello darling, how are you?”

Later that night

NaijaWife: *Snuggled up on the sofa, forcing Naijahusband to watch Jenifa Pt. 2 again*

NaijaHusband: “Can we watch something else for once? Something that won’t make me fall asleep?”

Naijawife: “If you like, fall asleep.”

NaijaHusband: *Falls asleep*

Naijawife: *shocked*…Wait…My magic words didn’t work this time?!?!

Look out for more episodes of Things NaijaWife Says and Things NaijaHusband Says!


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45 responses to “Things NaijaWife Says – Episode 2 – “If You Like””

  1. Christabel Avatar
    Christabel

    Hahahahaha!!!!! You guys ehn?

  2. darkchildlovethyhair Avatar

    Hahahahahahahaha typical nigerian woman.

    1. N-Night Avatar
      N-Night

      I just giggled cause my husband was reading this and said..typical naija wife.

  3. Cherie Avatar
    Cherie

    Looool! Hilarious!

  4. SNM Avatar

    Hahahahaha… The look on her face when you slept off must have been priceless.

  5. tianasagoh Avatar

    So tey, she says ‘if you like’ in her mind and it has effect miles away. LOL

    1. spacyzuma Avatar

      As in ehn!! See power! Looool

    2. kyuriyuskay Avatar

      That one just smacked me in the ribcage, as in, she doesn’t even have to say it out.

  6. Dayye Avatar
    Dayye

    Lmaooo

  7. @eloxie Avatar

    LOL!!! you guys sha! I’m still laughing at all the If you like’s.

  8. Gee | EverythingWeddingsAndMore Avatar

    Lmbo! Now I read it I actually remember saying if u like a little too much myself.

  9. Muyo-san Avatar

    Lol I’m suddenly scared about marriage. The small “woman wahala” I experience in relationships already seem overwhelming enough. I don’t think I can cope with this forever 🙁

    1. imperfectlyperfect92 Avatar

      Hahhahah.’If u like” sounds like u av a choice wen u really don’t.ewo o! Naijawife words and meanings.lmao!

      http://imperfectlyperfect92.wordpress.com

  10. HoneyDame Avatar

    Hahhahahahaha….mummy got served!!!!

  11. a-9ja-great Avatar

    Hahahaha Naijahusband don hear am! LOL

    It’s just sweet you guys understand yourselves.

  12. Keji Avatar
    Keji

    hahahahahaha! those magic words produce different results in my world sha! more like a dare…

    Hilarious!

  13. Aibee Avatar
    Aibee

    Lol! I often say if you like to the children I teach in church, and its not as effective as NaijaWife’s own! I really should com and learn tips from this woman. Especially as I’d be using her signs and wonders http://www.naijahusband.com/2013/09/05/signs-wonders/ style for my husband when I marry.

  14. Toin Avatar

    Pow! and Naijahusband slept. I wonder what the punishment would be.

    Who can i use this thing for o? I need S4 so i’ll say “if you like, don’t buy me S4 o” lol

  15. Lady Ngo Avatar

    So the phrase “if you like” works eh…*noted* lol

  16. anafricandiva Avatar

    Hahahahaaa! Even the “if you like” she says in her mind works? You’re both so blessed to have each other. That is all!

  17. @ilola Avatar

    Loooooolllll. Sleep is no respecter of person o, or threats for that matter

    -Naijaoffspring.

  18. chocoholicgirl1 Avatar

    LOOL … I am just as guilty …. #typicalnaijawoman

    1. CeeJControl Avatar
      CeeJControl

      #truethat I can testify to this!!!

  19. 1 + The One Avatar

    LOL@ if you like eh don’t wait for me, you will find yourself with a domestic situation when you get back.. Too funny

  20. toyinfabs Avatar
    toyinfabs

    “If you like” don’t do another post about things naija says before the end of tomorrow. 😀 this was freaking hilarious

  21. Pearl Ijeoma Ezeokeke Avatar

    If you like ehn…. In fact, lemme not talk!

    Hiohiohiohio!

  22. Konye Ikuni Avatar

    Naijawife has telepathic abilities…I kinda visualize her as a ‘small but mighty’

  23. Aloted Avatar

    Loolss love you guys!

  24. CeeJControl Avatar
    CeeJControl

    That “if you like” phrase though!!! Male species have to be smart with a high level of perception to survive such phrases. Looool.

    1. CeeJControl Avatar
      CeeJControl

      “If you like” dont nominate @naijahusband for the naijablogawards…. *wink

  25. Damilola Avatar

    Even as a single lady, I use that phrase wella. Its supposed to serve as a dare/ emotional blackmail. It obviously works, I should keep at it…winks.

  26. aduks Avatar
    aduks

    Lol! Okay seriously am honestly begining to think this is all fictional!

  27. aduks Avatar
    aduks

    The word calmly u used every single time sort of beats reality

    1. NaijaHusband Avatar

      Lol. I guess you’ll have to meet us in real life to understand

      1. 0latoxic Avatar

        Me too I want to understand o. Especially if meeting y’all is what it takes 😀

  28. Sir Farouk Avatar

    Hahahaha that if you like must be a potent threat except when dude slept off. You cant come between a man and his sleep yo. I keep telling ladies, if I m tired I m tired there is no jupiter that can separate me from my sweet dreams of marrying Halle Berry!

  29. Matilda Harper (@patramills) Avatar

    this is hilarious…………………loved it!

  30. Tobi Avatar
    Tobi

    Hehehe

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  32. tessadoghor Avatar

    Very funny
    You both are adorable
    Do write a book about marriage and its quirks
    YOu both obviously love each other
    It will sell

  33. […] Things NaijaWife Says – Episode 2 – “If You Like” […]

  34. bola Avatar
    bola

    lmaooooo…..if you like…

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